


Culture Shock

by yuffiehighwind



Series: Just a Little Roleplay [2]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-01
Updated: 2009-06-01
Packaged: 2018-03-07 12:12:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3173422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Night Elf discusses sex with some dwarves and gnomes in an Ironforge bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Culture Shock

"You mean you just... _do_ it?"

The dwarves guffawed and a gnome girl blushed. A dwarven waitress came by with the table's order - beer, beer, and more beer. With a side of beer. The Night Elf, whose name was Yamara, sipped some honey mead delicately. She tried to smile. Yamara was hardly intimidated by these dwarven men, being so much larger than them, but it was still awkward talking about sex with the group.

The gnome girl cleared her throat and began reciting something about Night Elven culture she had read in the Ironforge library, but she was cut off by Yamara loudly saying—

"Hang on, hang on everybody! I'm not some kind of prude, if that's what you think is so funny." 

This sort of speech got her stern looks back home, but in the company she had been keeping since moving to the Eastern Kingdoms, it was downright classy. 

One dwarven man raised a bushy eyebrow and raised a glass. "Aye, lads, we got a virgin in the tavern!"

The group broke out again into throaty laughter, and even the young gnome tittered. 

"I'm far older than any of you," Yamara protested, looking at the oldest dwarf in the room, who was well past 100 years. He had even begun to show it, wrinkles lining his face and hair snow-white, while Yamara didn't look a day over 20 to the human eye.

"I was in love once," she began, and the gnome girl shushed her male companions. "He wasn't the only person I ever loved, but he was my first. I remember those days so clearly. We used to go hunting together in the forests of Ashenvale. I was very young, and he was much older than me. I could barely contain my joy in his presence. I sometimes feared it would all turn out to be a dream. My village was mostly women. In those years, most of our men had dedicated themselves to druidism and the Emerald Dream. But not him. He was a hunter, a provider, and my mentor. We were in love and we made love. So stop giving me that look like I'm just a little girl." 

She raised her mug and let her volume rise, finishing her story with, "I'm a bloody Kaldorei!"

At this exclamation, the tavern cheered, and all raised their mugs high and toasted the elf.

"But Yamara," the gnome prodded, "What did you mean when you said—?”

One dwarf spoke up. "You sounded a bit judgmental, lass. More than a bit. Your nose is so high it's touching the clouds!"

"And we're indoors," another gnome whispered. When someone gave him a look, he sheepishly shrugged, replying, "What? We are."

"I didn't mean to be rude, but in my culture..." Yamara paused, then continued, despite the eye rolling. "In my culture, we don't have...we don't just…” She struggled to explain. "I mean, we have marriages, sort of. _Long_ ones.”

Some dwarven women at another table booed at the statement, and the dwarven men hollered back at them to shut up.

The gnome girl, accessing her mental encyclopedia again, chirped, "Oh, dwarves have strict rules about marriage! Divorce is a big no-no, and adultery is a sin!"

But a dwarven woman shook her head. "Aye, like you can even get a man down the aisle in our culture." 

"Whaddaya want from me, woman?" protested one dwarven man. 

"I want to be made respectable, ya oaf!" she cried, and the two then argued, shouting over each other in their own Dwarven language. 

The waitress returned and gave the gnome girl a little slap on the shoulder. "What're ya doin', causin' trouble in my establishment?" 

The gnome gave an innocent look. "I was just stating a fact!" she cried, but the dwarven men at the table laughed at her. One turned to Yamara.

"Yes, we have marriage customs and religious folk just as established as Stormwind's, but when yer young and fancy free, it ain't no sin in the Light's eyes to have some fun."

Yamara smirked a bit and nodded. "I think I understand. Sex in your culture isn't held _sacred_. Well, it is, but not exactly. It really depends on the lovers."

The dwarves began to boo again, and the yelling escalated. But there was no true anger behind the noise, just rowdy enthusiasm. A dwarf wasn't quite so uptight as an elf when it came to these matters. They had established the Explorer's League after all.

"Not sacred?" another dwarven woman scoffed, holding up her left hand, on which there was a glittering gold ring. "Don't tell my husband, whatever you do." She laughed and sipped her drink.

One dwarf leaned in close to Yamara, and she held her breath against the stink of liquor on his own.

"There ain't no shame in pleasure, we always say. Life is short, and you got a lot of living to do in the time the Light gives you."

"Who you callin' short?" the gnome said. The dwarf chuckled and Yamara could only smile. She turned to the gnome, then, and wondered if perhaps gnomes had a different outlook on sex than their taller cousins.

"And what about you? Have you had lovers, friend?"

The gnome frowned, blushed scarlet, and played with her mug nervously. 

"Uh, well...Not as such."

The waitress came back over and leaned over her gnomish friend to stage whisper to the Night Elf, "She's only eighteen."

The gnome frowned. "Don't tell people that! People tell me I have an old soul!"

"So what's your secret?" Yamara asked, gently teasing. 

The gnome just grabbed a napkin, pulled out a pen from her pocket and began to sketch something. Passing it to the Night Elf, she grinned with wild-eyed triumph.

" _That's_ my secret!" she said, then nudged Yamara to keep the napkin hidden. This wasn't a problem. Yamara's eyes bulged out and she covered her mouth in shock.

"Just one of my inventions. No such thing as being too prepared for the real thing when the time comes, eh?"

The Night Elf sipped her mead and returned the sketch to the young gnome, who put it back in her pocket before one of her male drinking mates could snatch it. 

Talk about culture shock.

**Author's Note:**

> There are some inaccuracies here - the entire premise is flawed, in fact, and I found that out after I wrote it. (I've posted this regardless, because someone may still find it entertaining.) 
> 
> Night Elves aren't uptight about sex at all, and they don't all marry. Yes, they do have marriages ( _long_ ones), and they do have "mates," and the man has to ask the woman to be his mate, and she can freely accept or turn him down. This happened 10,000 years ago with Tyrande and the Stormrage brothers. Centuries later, Tyrande and Malfurion finally wed - they had been lifelong mates but never officially married - and two of the Dragon Aspects presided over the ceremony. 
> 
> Whatever it was like centuries ago, Night Elven culture probably changed over time. For one thing, many elven men left their mates to enter the Emerald Dream. With such long separations, there's no doubt the Night Elves have relaxed attitudes about sex and sexuality. If anything, they'd have serial monogamy, like other races do, if not polyamory. They live so long, there's no doubt break ups happen, like with Yamara's old mate. (Did they break up or did he die? I hadn't decided that part when this was written.) I'm sure bisexuality is common. (I thought Shandris and Tyrande had a thing, but she calls Tyrande "mother," since Tyrande pretty much raised her, so that's out. I bet there's other Night Elves we can slash, though. Plenty.)
> 
> Yamara wouldn't be "prudish" anyway, at least not the Yamara from my other 'fics or the Yamara I play in-game. She's chill. She's loose, she's hip. She doesn't scold dwarves for getting down.


End file.
